Meredith: I think the problem I have with unfortunate men is that I am generally nice to them and occasionally they confuse polite conversation with flirtation.
Meagan: Actually, I can get solidly into the Friend-Zone in about five minutes.
Meredith: Really? How so?
Meagan: it's all about your stance, if you slouch the guy will start to think of you as a guy (here she gets up to explain her meaning, slight bend in each knee, hips forward confidently, shoulders hunched just so) This says to the guy "dude." Then you can just be yourself.
Meredith: (aping Meagan's posture awkwardly thanks to 15 years of ballet) so this? See, I was just cursing and drinking and making jokes about boobs.
(Meagan leaves the room)
Jacob: Yeah, that's never going to work. Also, don't joke about boobs. That will just draw us in. Pretty much, you're screwed.
(Meagan returns)
Meagan: I'm telling you, slouching every single time.
I'm pretty sure slouching is not the opposite of pigtails. Also this is not a social experiment of which I am likely to conduct as I have to try very hard to slouch and would not be able to carry on a casual conversation while doing so. I guess I just have to home my letting-socially-awkward-dudes-down-easy skills.
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We should compare notes. I get the "Holy Cats, you have a vagina?!" reaction a lot from dudes and ladies alike. It would be like one of those horrible movies where two personality-mismatched friends or associates trade places and hijinks ensue. I'll be Dan Aykroyd and you can be Lindsey Lohan.
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